Apr 7, 2018

halfway bumpdate


our precious baby boy is halfway through his stay in my belly... and i am halfway through this pregnancy. my love for our little guy already grows every single day and even though the feelings of inadequacy are strong i am soooooo excited to start this next chapter with Jord.

I was getting up and ready for work one morning and something just FELT different. I had been having cramps the past few days but I thought it was because I was about to start my period.. I had NO clue to look for cramping as an early sign of pregnancy. but because i just felt different I took the dollar store test that I always have handy and within seconds it showed POSITIVE. SO MANY EMOTIONS. Jord and I had talked about starting to "try" soon... within the next couple months and now all of a sudden no more talking about "trying" or when the best time would be or anything... IT WAS HERE! It just happened. I drove to work shaking and crying and laughing all at the same time and lets just say it was a little hard to focus that day! 
I've been told I'm strange but I actually waited 2 days to tell Jordan!! EEK!! I kept my little secret all to myself for those two days, just soaking in all the thoughts and downloading all the apps and trying to figure out how far along I could have been. Jord and I are sooo busy and I wanted to wait for the perfect moment when things were moving a little slower to tell Jordan, so I waited until Friday right before date night. 
Christmas was in a few weeks so I wrapped up my pregnancy test and told Jord that I wanted him to open up one of his presents early. 
He was SO UNSUSPECTING he didn't see this coming for miles haha. I was shaking as he was opening the present and when he saw what it was he thought I was pranking him for about a full two minutes until he realized this was the real deal. and then he hugged me and picked me up and we were both just pretty much speechless!! It is a surreal feeling finding out you are going to become parents. We told my family a couple weeks later on Christmas morning!!

Let's just say week 6 hit and I instantly started to FEEL pregnant. and by feel pregnant i mean i have never been so nauseous in my life haha. it was a daily battle to get myself out of bed and i spent many mornings puking in the toilet while texting my coworker to please bring my class inside and that i would be there as soon as i could. as for my energy... what energy!?? haha man growing a human is no joke. i have a full new respect for my gender guys. women rock. there were plenty of nights that i would be laying in bed with jordan and just start bawling... literally because i felt bad for myself. i felt bad i had stopped going to the gym and that i hadn't cleaned or cooked in weeks and i was so SICK OF FEELING SICK and then i would feel bad for feeling bad for myself because i truly was SO grateful to be pregnant and i knew there were SO many women out there who got so much more sick than i was and i felt like i was being a baby and then i'd just cry even harder. haha wow what a roller coaster. but what it came down to on those days that were soooo miserable is i honestly truly knew i wouldn't trade it for anything if it meant that i could grow this little human. i already knew i would do anything for him (**it at the time) and he was already worth it. 
but no worries there is light at the end of the tunnel... just three months later!! haha my morning (all day) sickness lasted until about week 18. I can honestly say I've been feeling MUCH better!! and it's a whole new world! I honestly didn't think I'd ever be able to cook again or come home from work and not head straight for the couch and netflix ha oops. I still have a slight feeling of nausea that just lingers and i'll get sick every now and then but i am SO grateful to not be constantly miserable anymore. 
As for weight gain the first trimester it fluctuated and actually went down. and now my dr. says i'm right on track!! 
(still hard to believe him since it's WEIRD to watch your body gain weight but hey, dr. said.) 
Cravings have been non-existent for me so far. Pretty much any food that I eat is because it's something I can TOLERATE. Nothing sounds good.. and I would say the food aversion game is much stronger than the craving game. those first 12 weeks especially i will say the only thing i could get myself to eat was pretty much carbs. in our nightly prayers jordan would say, "please bless the baby will get some nutrients from ramen noodles" haha. if anything i "craved" snow cones. NOW i'm doing much better with food and as long as I keep it simple and pretty bland, baby and I are happy campers! (PLZ hold the hot sauce & BBQ)

"You see a little bum right there, and then legs on either side... do you know what that is in between them??" 
WHAT?!?! A BOY?!?! This was probably the most shocking moment of my pregnancy thus far. it's funny because i never "felt" like I was having a girl but when the doc told us he was 80% sure it was a boy i was honestly surprised. it caught me off guard. ME? Raising a BOY? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!!! Ohhh the feelings. I instantly felt soooo overwhelmed. and scared. it scared me to death to think of having a boy... jordan kept trying to reassure me and would throw in, "Jess, you technically don't know how to raise a girl either." haha so true but if i'm being completely honest a girl just seemed so less intimidating to me. we told our family that night and the waterworks came each time i said, "it's a boy" hahaha. i've grown more comfortable with the idea of having a boy and it's my love for this little GUY that is the most comforting. instantly in that moment i found out i just loved him sooooo much even though he scared me to death haha.

thank you to Cherokee Photos for all of our pics in helping us announce!!!

And now here we are!! 21 weeks later and halfway through this journey. My 20 week ultra sound was the best thing - and I think jordan will agree- that we have EVER done. Being able to see an actual BABY swimming around in your stomach, kicking his legs and stretching his arms is the most amazing thing in this world. it truly is a miracle. i've watched my little video clip of him about a billion times and i'm just IN UTTER AWE. 

I love him so much!!! Pregnancy has been overwhelming and exhausting and amazing. It's so fun to be able to relate with other mamas and especially MY mom!! I feel so blessed to have so much love and support from friends and family and to have so many amazing examples around me to look up to. I learn from ALL of you! Jord has been amazing and patient and loving and nothing makes my heart happier than when he kisses me goodbye in the morning and then kisses the bump goodbye too. it's so sweet and watching him become a dad is something i've been looking forward to for a long time! it's so fun to be here and we are soaking it all up. 

Jul 21, 2017

ROME you city of love you!!

Hi, slowly but surely getting all caught up when I have a second of down time here and there. Which is okay.. a LOT but probably shouldn't be a lot because I have a lot to do! Haha but oh well. 
So here is a sad story: I make photo books of basically everything. I love love love saving my pictures this way and feel like they get looked at the most when they are in a photo book. So of course I made a few books from our trip to Europe and ordered them off of Shutterfly. After a while I started to wonder why they hadn't shown up yet... and did some research in my email and realized I had them shipped to St. Thomas!!! NOOOOOOOOO. I'm so impatient waiting for these things anyway and this was just the worst news haha. UGH. But luckily my friend is moving home from St. Thomas in a week now and she said she'll squeeze them in her luggage for me! yay. 

I can't even tell you how excited I was to go back to Rome!! When I went on study abroad over 3 years ago it was the best experience I've ever had. I fell IN LOVE with Italy. All I've been wanting to do since I left that place was turn around and go back! I was seriously giddy walking around the streets with Jord telling him, 
"this is where we ate lunch" 
"Oh, this was the best gelato place" 
"ahh I have a picture in this same spot"

haha basically the jist of it^ Rome is so romantic to me and I was pleasantly surprised with how much I still loved being there. Especially with Jord! Rome only holds a fraction of my love for Italy though and we definitely need to go back to make it to all of the other wonderful cities. :)

Three days is of course too short but some of our highlights included:
Renting bikes and biking around the city
Eating at "Alfredo's" where the ORIGINAL alfredo was made!!
Getting gelato at Giolotti's by the trevi fountain
Allllll the pretty romantic buildings.
The Vatican Museum
St. Peter's Basilica
The Colosseum
Listening to a man sing the most beautiful opera I've ever heard in my life outside of The Pantheon.
Tossing my coin in the Trevi fountain with my lover, because we WILL be back yet again!!!

Jul 17, 2017

a little slice of heaven, MT


Spent a weekend (and it was about a week too short) up in beautiful Montana with the WHOLE FAM. YAY. Got us all together!
(The brother in laws didn't realize how important FAM trips are, and well we had to reel them in and make them cancel all plans they had asap cause... ya can't miss out!! lol) 

This was about a week ago and let me tell ya, summer is FLYIN right on by! We've got a bunch of updates in our life but I'll save that for another day. 

Jord was able to take work off last minute and I mean LAST minute to be able to join us and I was so so happy that he could! Even though he had a nasty cold he was able to come and fish his little heart out! Which of course made my heart happy. 

Jord and I drove down a day after my family and had about 7 hours together in the car, my mom printed off directions for us to follow because you usually lose service and can't use your phone to GPS you. So we started off by following the GPS on our phone and once we started getting close to the "no service" zone we took a lookey at the printed directions and realized they were a completely different route than the one our phone had taken us!!! GAH. We only had like one minute of panic and called my parents and got it all figured out so we wouldn't get lost and then had a good laugh at ourselves after. 
Also, no music in the car so we had some fun singing our own tunes... acapella. I don't know why but whenever I'm in the car with no actual music, Moulin Rouge soundtrack, Phanton Of The Opera, and Pitch Perfect are the only lyrics I can remember. :) Jord was dying haha. 

We spent our time going on the most gorgeous hikes to lakes, fishing on the river, going to a rodeo!! Ok I have been to a rodeo.... zero times in my life before this! Haha and I guess this wasn't technically a rodeo but a "bull riding show." Oh my gosh. I was SO entertained!!! Those cowboys are CRAZY and those bulls are MASSIVE. Jord and I had a secret crush on the cowboy who would reign in all the bulls after their ride. He was this young kid on his horse and literally after the bull was so ticked off and stomping around the arena he would get is lasso and just lasso the huge bull and pull it into the kennel on his horse like NO BIG DEAL... He was a bad a for sure. RESPECT. 
(also sorry^ there just isn't a more perfect way to describe it)

Also I just love my grandparents cute little log cabin. It is magical! I remember coming here ever since I was a little girl and although I wish I could see them more I'm so glad we can go visit them here! One time when we were visiting a few years ago we were all eating dinner out on my grandma's covered porch and we look out the window and a mama black bear and her two little cubs came down the hill through the forest and into my grandma's garden!! It was the coolest experience!!! Granted, I was scared to go hiking up in their backyard for the rest of our visit but it was SO amazing to get to watch those bears!

ANYWAY, here are a few pictures (never actually just a few) from our magical weekend!!
We love you Darby, MT.  

 out of focus and whoopsie jord is in his underwear cause he just took a plunge in the lake :/

 my pretty little sister liv. when you are best friends with your sisters... life is good.

 My brother!!!! He's so dang cute. And he is leaving on his mission in HAWAII next month. Don't go. But go. But don't. GAH!!